I took that steel rod, and used it to prop myself up and out of bed. I set it up in the bathroom and used it to hang a towel on.

I took the steel rod into the kitchen, and kneaded some dough with it in preparation for dinner. I used it to fish out a can opener that had falled behind the stove. I pushed open a sliding door with it, to let some fresh air in. I liked my new steel rod. I took my steel rod outside.

A kitten mewled from a nearby tree. With my steel rod, I coaxed the kitten down, and it scurried away. I used it to prop up the hood of my car while I checked the oil. Used it to smash some aluminum cans on the porch for recycling day. Hung garbage bags on it like a yoke to carry them to the dumpster. It held the lid of the dumpster up while threw the bags in.

I got into my car with my steel rod. A tire blew on the highway. I got out along the guardrail, very angry. I took my steel rod and thrashed the guardrail a few times, making dents like a hailstorm. That calmed me down, and then I used the rod to help change the tire.

I went to the zoo with my steel rod. I went to see the tigers. It was feeding time in the tiger pen. But the man feeding the tigers had blood in his face. That was because one of the tigers was trying to kill him. I braced the steel rod between two iron fenceposts and pulled myself over the fence. I pounded the tiger in the head with the steel rod. The tiger died, and the man feeding the tigers was happy to see me. He gave me his phone number and an IOU.

I drove over to Private Pete's house. Private Pete is a pederast. Private Pete isn't in the army. Private Pete is just private. Private Pete the pederast. Private Pete keeps "missing" children locked up in his basement. Nobody knows this. The basement has an outside entrance which is kept padlocked so the children can't escape. I took my steel rod and hacked away at the padlock until it shattered. The children ran free, and Private Pete came running out without pants on. He was angry. He ran towards me and my steel rod. A loud thwang happened when I hit Private Pete with my steel rod. Private Pete didn't bother anyone anymore.

In the city, there was some yelling underneath a manhole cover. I used the steel rod to pry up the manhole cover. A black woman had gotten trapped in the sewer. I don't know how. But I tied a rope to the steel rod and lowered it to her. I tied the other end to my car and pulled the black woman out of the sewer. She decided she liked my steel rod too.

I was having a good day, and so was the rod. Except then, I heard a loud crack. It was a gunshot, and it came from the shoestore. Some kids had come in and shot the storeowner dead, and had stolen some new sneakers. I couldn't believe it. I got so mad. I got so mad I can barely remember crashing the steel rod into everything I saw. The cash register is dead. The windows to the store are all gone. My steel rod took them all out.

Someone stole my car while I was in the shoestore. I got so mad.

The next car that came down the street, I stopped it by waving my steel rod in the driver's face. I broke the driver's-side window and told the driver to get out. He did. The radio was playing a song I didn't like. The steel rod took care of that. I drove down the street, and as I drove, I saw...

Homeless people begging for nickels when a dollar can't buy you a loaf of bread.
Mothers yelling at their children, only because their mothers yelled at them.
Stores and stores of name brand fashions that you just have to own.
Monopolistic herd-mentality chain restaurants where mom and pop operations once stood.
A man throwing a cigarette box on the street.
Rows of newspaper racks, rows of bad news, rows of death and destruction and basketball scores.
Lots and lots and lots and lots of frowning, lost people.

I got so mad.

But I put my steel rod to good use.

I smashed the bank and let the homeless take what they needed. I cracked the mothers and made sure they got their heads straight. I broke all of the stores, and broke the fashions too. The restaurants aren't there anymore either. Just rubble now. And the streets are clean too, because the people who made them dirty have learned better. And in this town, there's only going to be bad news for one more day.

I went further, steel rod in hand. It was a long day.

Where there was violence, there is now peace. Where there was inequity, there is now balance. Where there was pain and suffering and fear and misery and unspeakable horrors, there is now only quiet, soothing music and the calm trickle of a spent waterfall. And my steel rod destroyed anything and anyone that got in my way.

At the end of the day, I took my steel rod, propped it way up high, at the highest point in town, and hung from it a new flag which nobody had ever seen before. But they've seen it now.

My steel rod and I, we can do anything.