Now you're acting all innocent and looking behind you like I was talking to somebody else. No, I'm talking to you, you liar. Can't escape now, you're busted. What? No, I'm not going to explain why. You know damned well why, and it really cheapens us both to even discuss this one moment further. Goodbye.

.

Quit following me. If you wanted to be my friend so much, you would have thought about the consequences of your actions before you befouled this relationship with your deception. It's a little too late now, isn't it?

Oh, come on now. This blubbering of yours is not doing you any good. Just go home and try to forget about it. The damage is done. Stop drawing this out.

Alright, fine, if it's that important to you, I'll explain this, but I really shouldn't have to, and I think you now owe me an additional apology for making me do this. And wipe your nose, will you? Here, here's some tissues. Clean yourself up while I lay the truth down for you, a truth that has gone unspoken for far too long:

• You do want to make money fast. You are interested in money-back-guaranteed new opportunity that will allow you to make thousands of dollars a week in the comfort of your own home. No, don't look away now, you started this.
• You do need a 100% legal, effective way to fix your bad credit.
• You are desperately in need of a fast, low-cost way to fix your driving credibility, and get back on the road today.
• You can not hold out long enough in bed, and you so very much want to try a new medication that is absolutely proven by scientific tests to give you the staying power you need to bring spice back into your lovelife, and please your woman every time.
• You strongly desire to read this list of fifty ways that vegetables are better than men, and how a jet airplane would work if it was built by Microsoft.
• Nothing would make you happier than to see barely legal horny shaven teens in the hottest XXX-rated action you have ever seen.
• You do want to get out of debt by calling one toll-free number.
• You have to buy this proven series of self-confidence tapes that will help to boost your morale and make you more effective everywhere in your life, from the office to the bedroom.
• You are dying to invest in this stock which is going to go up 200% in the next week.
• You are a big fat sow, and are absolutely fucking thrilled to receive notification of a new, federally-approved weight loss pill that you can order today for 60% less than you'd pay at your local pharmacy! You know you are!! You fucking liar!! How could you stand there staring right into my face and tell me that any of this isn't the absolute gospel truth!