Sensuex condoms feature the thinnest, safest latex blend on the market, to let you and your partner enjoy the feeling to the fullest! The other leading brands talk about safety, and talk about sensuality, but no other condom has our impeccable track record in both health, and romance!

Is your condom not letting you "get the job done"? New Sensuex condoms are guaranteed to have your woman making puddles right there in the bed, or you get twice your money back! Even if you're hung like a bottlecap, our condoms feature just the right stuff to let you knock the bottom out of that thing without hardly having to stay awake!

Can't get it up for the old bag after the fifty billionth time of the same old tired blind grind? Sensuex condoms come pretreated with Hardonex spray, which can make even the droopiest limpdick stiffen up like an unwashed gym sock! It's that good!

Jesus Christ! I would rather stick my pecker into a sack of constipated scorpions than have sex with anything other than a Sensuex condom! And it's even great for jerking off, too! I mean, while I'm at home yankin' the crank, just the feel of a Sensuex condom on my purple-headed poodle is so great that I'm making milkshakes in there in record time!

It's even great for you faggots, too! If you're thinkin' about bending some turd-burglar over and jammin' the jimmy up his sweaty, hairy balloon knot, you'll really appreciate the security that comes from knowing that you're using a Sensuex condom! You fuckin' homo!

Child molester? No problem! Each Sensuex condom comes with a sampler-sized LoobToob, just the thing for cramming your mature meat mallet into some terrified, bellowing, screaming eight year old!

Goddammit, is this one fantastic condom! Look! I'm putting one into my mouth right now! Ifr rrgglee teashte grrebt teoo! Mmmgrmmmmgmmrmmmgrmmmgrmmm!!! Fffpteahh! Wow! Even my mouth is sportin' a chubby! If you don't go out immediately and buy like a 1000-pack of these fuckers right now, you are one seriously disturbed person!