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The PWC2 Introduction
1/3/2002: A Dork in the Road
It's time for a brand new feature here at PWC2. We now present to you the very first installment of: Pinback's Intellegance Test. Simply take this little quiz, then tally your score at the bottom!
Question #1: You got up early, and have been out on the town all day, carousing around with your boys, raising a little hell. But it's getting pretty late, around 1 AM the next morning, and you've had quite the action-packed day. Do you:
- Have one last nightcap, then turn in.
- Turn in right away, to get a fresh start the next morning.
- Hop in the car and drive to Reno.
Question #2: You're on the road for about 30 minutes when you realize that Reno is actually about twice as far away as you'd planned. Do you:
- Think better about the trip and turn around before you get too far from home.
- Decide on a closer, more convenient destination.
- Steadfastly refuse to change plans, and let the chips fall where they may.
Question #3: You get about halfway there, when you see caution signs warning that it's snowing over the Donner Pass, and that tire chains are strongly recommended. Do you:
- Find a hotel to stay for the night to let the weather clear up.
- Stop somewhere and get a few chains.
- Charge straight ahead, paying absolutely no heed to any caution signs (or any other signs, for that matter.)
Question #4: You realize that, now being very early on New Year's Eve, you might have the tiniest smidgeon of trouble finding a hotel room in a party-centric town like Reno. Do you:
- Begin calling ahead to see if there are any rooms available.
- For the love of God, turn the hell around while you've got any dignity left.
- Put the pedal to the metal and rely on your own invincibility to get you through.
Question #5: You're high in the Sierras, and the weather has turned very nasty. It's foggy as hell, it's snowing, the roads are icy, you can't see more than ten feet in front of you, and what's the point anyway since there's no fucking lane markings on any of the goddamn roads in the first place. Do you:
- Pull over to the side to avoid risking an accident.
- Realize it's better to be embarrassed than to be dead, and finally, finally, please, if you have any sense left, turn around.
- Barrel on ahead, determined not to let anything sway you from your hideously ill-conceived plan.
Question #6: Against all odds, you finally manage to reach your destination, about four and a half hours later. As you suspected, though, you're having trouble finding a room. You do manage to locate one, but it costs about three times more than you wanted to pay. Do you:
- Pay the money, and just be thankful that you made it through this whole ordeal alive.
- Drive about five minutes out of town and get a nice place at a reasonable rate.
- Search around the city for the rattiest, most run down little holding cell you can find, with pieces falling off of it, odd, smelly people milling around the lobby all day and night, and run by a guy who insists that he show you to your room, since it can be a little tricky to find, and then proceeds to take you to the wrong floor, which is pretty hard to do in a place with only three floors.
Scoring: If you answered anything other than "3" for any of these questions, you are most definitely not one of the dumbest all-time human beings to ever set foot onto this giant ball of dirt and poo that is our beautiful blue-green orb called Earth.
As it turns out, though, a person who shall remain nameless and I did not fare quite that well on this little impromptu IQ test. However, before any of you get all "high and mighty" and begin passing judgement, let me just make clear that this entire episode was well worth it, as it ended up being the very best little trip I've ever taken, as measured by the number of times I nearly nodded off while slumped over a hotel bar.
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