The PWC2 Introduction

Now it's time for the First Annual PWC2 Vegas Blowout Bash Roundup! Three boozy, woozy days in the desert enjoying all that that sleepy little town has to offer, including eating at the hotel sushi bar, and ordering a beer at the hotel sushi bar.

As we've done for all our previous First Annual PWC2 Vegas Blowout Bash Roundups, we'll start with our list of Props and Disses:

Props
1. Phil Hendrie. He was the reason we all showed up in the first place, and he did not disappoint. The man is a genius, and his show is even more amazing to watch than it is to listen to. If you are not familiar with the man, please do yourself a favor and go to www.philhendrieshow.com and get on the winning team. Phil, you da man!

2. Sandy, Vonda, Frank, Tony, Rich, and the rest of the crew down at the Luxor poker room. The smallest, most pitiful poker room on the strip (they have to use employees to sit at the table to get games going, and there was rarely more than 1 game going at any one time), but they really make you feel like you're special there, as everyone's friendly and personable, and they run a good game.

3. Carrie and Suzy, the two sweethearts at the GameWorks Loft bar where I spent more time than I'd probably like to admit to. Call me up when you're in town, Suze!

4. The Luxor. Hey, it's gimmicky, and it certainly doesn't hold near the swank and hip factor of your other South Strip mega-resorts, but I spent almost all of my time there (other than the GameWorks Loft bar), and had a right enjoyable time, all three days. The nicest thing I can say about it is that for the first time since I've been driving to Vegas out here, I never stepped one foot into the Monte Carlo.

5. The sushi guy at the sushi bar. Don't know the man's name, but he rolls a mean spicy tuna roll.

Disses
1. Ben Parrish, for not bringing his camera to the Phil Hendrie listener party on Saturday night, missing out on the once (or so) in a lifetime opportunity to get a photo of himself with Phil. DAMMIT!! Dammit.

2. That cranky old coot who was to my right when I was playing 7 stud. Just because you're old and disgusting, that's no excuse for being an asshole. Also, you suck at cards. Ha ha ha.

3. Gray, the guy who walked up to the GameWorks Loft bar while I was trying to chat up Carrie, and started honing in on my action. I got enough problems with the ladies without being upstaged by your fat ass.

4. That 12 year old Hispanic-looking kid who would not stop playing Police 911. You suck, man, just give it up and let the rest of us have a turn.

5. All of you, for not coming to the First Annual PWC2 Vegas Blowout Bash. You blew it. Nice job.

Alright then! That's it for Props and Disses, so now we move on to our largely redundant section called Highs and Lows, recounting all the ups and downs (or "highs and lows") of the trip. We'll do this in reverse order, just to try to screw with your head.

Lows
5. Driving to the Paradise Club after lunch on Sunday looking for a cocktail and maybe a lap dance or eight, but it don't open until six. NOTE TO SELF: Paradise don't open till six on Sundays.

4. A bit of embarrassment at the sushi bar as I walked in the first day and tried to explain to the non-English-proficient waitress that I wanted the soba noodle soup, but I couldn't remember what it was called. She just stood there looking confused, and eventually had to walk me back out of the restaurant so I could point to the menu at the entrance and show her what I was talking about.

3. Losing $170 at poker over the stretch of two days and about 9-10 hours. I wasn't playing well at all, and the cards were just not coming, and that's a nasty combination. That's like the Sub-Zero fatality move of nasty combinations.

2. Sunday afternoon, I really thought I was hitting it off with the ladies at the GameWorks Loft bar (Carrie and Suzy), with the latter seeming to indicate she'd like to get a drink after work. I needed to get out of town, but I figure that'd be worth waiting around an extra hour or so for. But then Carrie's shift ended and she scuttled out under escort, and Suzy just never seemed to get off work -- she said she was off at 7:00, but 7:45 came along and she was still standing around in work clothes chatting with her work buddies, and I really had to hit the road, so I ended up just saying "bye" and that hopefully we'd be able to hook up when she comes to LA in a couple weeks. The Lord keeps teasing me and then pulling the carrot back. I hate the Lord.

1. The aforementioned gaffe in not bringing my camera to the Phil Hendrie "blues and brews" party. I figured I could go back to the room and get it if there was anything interesting to take pictures of, but by the time the autograph line started forming, I was pretty much stuck there, and then I realized that the line was moving so slowly because everybody had a camera, and he was letting everybody sit down and have a picture taken with him. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Oh well, maybe next year.

Highs
5. Walking into the GameWorks Loft, and noticing that I still had the high score on Asteroids from the last time I was there (a week ago). I then proceeded to garner all five of the top spots on that machine, the most pristinely conditioned, most perfect Asteroids machine you could ever hope to see. Yes, my life is quite the nonstop party.

4. Meeting so many nice people at the poker table. Everyone (with the notable exception above, in the "Disses" section) was just real friendly, real funny, talkative (in a good way), and having a good time, players and dealers alike. That's really when poker is the most fun, whether you're winning or not. Even while I was getting slaughtered, you still couldn't take the smile off my face. (Until I got up to go to the bathroom and started cursing and bitching nonstop to nobody in particular.)

3. Three channels and 24 hours of hardcore pornography for $22? Hey now!

2. After beating my brains in for two days and many many hours at the poker table, eventually losing $170, I was walking back to my room Saturday night. Drunk and pissed off, I angrily (and against my better judgement, which I had none of at that point) slapped $60 down at a $10 blackjack table, and in the greatest short run of cards I've ever gotten at 21, won the $170 back in approximately 5 minutes. The casino is a funny place.

1. The Phil Hendrie Experience, which includes watching him do the show, and getting to shake his hand and say "Hi Phil." That was cool. That was very cool.

Welp, that rounds up the First Annual PWC2 Vegas Blowout Bash Roundup. All in all, I'd say it was a very entertaining trip, and though I really didn't do anything other than play poker, play Asteroids, and hang out at bars, it still felt like a jam-packed three days which I'll never forget, except I pretty much already have. See you next year! Or more likely, not, because you're all a bunch of losers.

Losers!